©Scott Sheaffer, CBCC-KA, CDBC, CPDT-KA, USA Dog Behavior, LLC

“A confident dog behaves like Kyle.”

Dr. Ian Dunbar, who is the best-known dog behaviorist on the planet, said something that is 100% true about confident dogs at one of his seminars I attended. He said, "You will never be able to find the most confident dog on earth; it's really impossible."

What did he mean? Let me explain.

The Reality of Dog Aggression

Most people think that a dog who acts aggressively toward humans and other dogs must be a confident, self-assured and assertive dog. People who own human aggressive dogs frequently think their dog is protecting them when they are acting aggressively to strangers. These assumptions would appear to be reasonable; however, the exact opposite is true.

With some exceptions, dogs who act aggressively toward humans and other dogs are actually fearful of those humans and dogs. They are attempting to create distance between them and the scary thing; the aggressive dog is only thinking of their own well-being. Distance equals safety in the canine world.

Then why do these dogs act in a non-aggressive manner with their dog and human family members? Because they don't fear them. For more information about aggressive dogs and family members, see Why is my Sweet Dog so Aggressive to People Outside of Our Family?

Dog vs. Human Aggression

This phenomenon of fear aggression from dogs is not unlike human aggression toward other humans.

Humans can use aggression to bully and control people they fear. Few people think that individuals who use aggression toward other humans are self-assured people.

What Does a Confident Human Look Like?

Remember the football player you knew in high school who was bigger than everyone at your high school? If he was like the guy I’m thinking of from my high school, he was about 6’ 7” tall, weighed about 250 lbs. and was all muscle. His name was Kyle.

The funny thing about Kyle was that he was the gentlest guy at my high school. He had time for everybody and never was involved in any kinds of altercations. If he ever got involved in a fight, it was to peacefully stop the fight. You know the person I’m talking about. I always think of these types of people as huggy-bears. Everybody liked Kyle and wanted to be his friend.

Was Kyle tough on the football field? Yes. He was courted by many colleges. However, and this is critical, he had nothing to prove to anyone. Further, he had no need to fear anyone. He was confident. He could easily afford to be relaxed and comfortable with everyone.

What Does a Confident Dog Look Like?

A confident dog behaves like Kyle.

Confident dogs are confident because they have nothing to prove or fear. They can sometimes appear to be docile and possibly unengaged because they are so relaxed. However, they are more than capable of appropriately defending themselves if need be, but do so as a last resort.

The irony is that because confident dogs are calm and slow to react to even the most provocative triggers, you won’t necessarily see them as confident dogs because they are calm and relaxed.

The more confident they are, the less reactive they are - not unlike confident people. To find the most confident dog on the planet, you would literally be on a never-ending journey to track down the most comfortable and relaxed dog alive.

I had a rescued German Shepherd named Fred who was the most confident dog I’ve ever owned. To read a short article about this magnificent animal, please see Have you owned your once-in-a-lifetime dog yet?