©Scott Sheaffer, CDBC, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA, USA Dog Behavior, LLC

“What does this have to do with dog training? Everything.”

When I was eight years old my mom asked me to take the groceries in from the car. Instead of taking a bag or two at a time, I loaded all five bags in my arms at once in order to make just one trip. Unfortunately, I dropped all of the bags on my way to the kitchen breaking many glass bottles and all of the eggs. Our family didn’t have a lot of money at that time so this carelessness was a costly mistake. My impatience, and quite frankly, laziness, ended up getting very poor results.

It’s human nature to search for the shortest path to get what we want - including getting our dogs to behave in ways we want. There are literally uncountable gimmicky and silly “quick and easy” ways to train your dog on the internet with results that are predictably not authentic or lasting, and then there are valid and reliable techniques that lead to legitimate lifetime learning for your dog.

What is the most important single concept for getting your dog to do anything for you?

I was talking to a trusted friend (and dog lover) today about the importance of relationships when it comes to business success. Mike is an attorney with his own successful law firm. We discussed how much easier it is to get things done in the business world when you have a preexisting positive relationship with the person you are working with. It’s almost magical really. To name a few of the advantages: faster exchange of information, more trust, willingness to experiment with novel approaches to problems, less wasted time.

What does this have to do with dog training? Everything.

Have you ever thought about the quality of the relationship you have with your dog? If you’re like most people, you probably haven’t. I know what you’re thinking; can you have a relationship with a dog? You actually already have some kind of relationship with your dog whether you’ve thought about it or not. Tending to this relationship is utterly critical if you want your dog to be happy, relaxed and willing to do great things for you.

Like relationships in the business world, if you have established a positive relationship with your dog, your dog will be much more able and willing to:

understand your intentions more readily.
learn faster.
try new things.
look to you for guidance.

A positive relationship with your dog allows you to much more effectively and efficiently work with your dog on everything including basic commands, dog tricks and behavior issues.

How do I establish a positive relationship with my dog?

Short answer: Always be a predictor of good things to your dog.
Long answer: There are no formal set of rules for doing this, but I can certainly give you some ideas.

Dogs are social animals - that’s why we love being around them and why they love being around us. Give your dog input all of the time in ways he or she likes. This could include random petting all through the day, merely looking at your dog and talking to him or her in a soothing voice, adding a little something extra to your dog’s meals on occasion, taking your dog for walks, playing games your dog likes, etc. Bottom line, constantly give your dog your time and attention in positive ways.
Dogs love getting treats from you. One of the most effective ways to enhance your relationship with your dog is to hide treats throughout your house and give them to your dog for coming to you in that part of the house. Dogs learn to expect treats in certain areas, but when we provide treats randomly from multiple locations, they start to think you are quite magic - and wonderful.
This isn’t a “do” but rather a “don’t”. Do not be a predictor of bad things to your dog by hitting, yelling, spraying with water as punishment, using loud noises as punishment, snapping your dog’s leash, etc. Dogs learn to avoid you much more quickly than they learn to have a positive relationship with you. This kind of aversive behavior from you always takes things in the wrong direction, and quickly.

How will I know if I have a great relationship with my dog?

Here are some of the ways you’ll know you’ve established the right kind of relationship with your dog that facilitates working with your dog on all dog training and dog behavior issues.

Your dog will make eye contact with you often. Why is this? Your dog has learned to trust you and wants to follow your lead. A well-trained dog on heel will literally never look away from the owner’s eyes. Can you imagine how much trust has been built between dog and owner for this to happen? It’s a beautiful thing to watch if you’ve never seen this before.
Your dog will much more quickly learn new things you want to teach him or her. There are two reasons for this, 1) your dog has little to no anxiety in working with you, which always makes learning easier for your dog, and, 2) your dog’s tolerance for frustration in the learning process is greater, which allows for longer and more in-depth training.
Your dog wants to hang out with you - almost all of the time.
Your dog craves your every look, word and touch and shows you this by quickly responding with alertness.

Do you want your dog to do anything for you? Then establish a long-term positive relationship with him or her first. It’s the most important thing you can do to get your dog on your team.